Many parents find the conversation about birth and where babies come from to be an uncomfortable discussion to have with their children. This topic may be difficult to talk about at first, but telling the truth and being honest with your children is always the best solution.
If your child’s birth story involves surrogacy, the conversation can be more overwhelming. However, surrogacy is an important part of your child’s story. Many people agree that it is important to be honest with how your child was born, as surrogacy is a significant part of them.
There are many reasons to talk to your child openly and honestly about surrogacy. Here are some tips for introducing and discussing this topic with your loved one.
- A heavy burden is placed on intended parents, as well as friends and family members to conceal the surrogacy story
- Lying or failing to tell the truth about your child’s story can create issues of shame, guilt and distrust, as well as a negative view of surrogacy
- Lastly, donor-conceived children risk receiving inaccurate medical information if they don’t have access to their donor’s family medical history
When and How to tell your Child’s Surrogacy Story
Many intended parents recognize the importance of explaining surrogacy to their child. The hard part however is how to approach the topic.
Some put off this conversation until their child is old enough to understand. However, waiting to tell them can have negative consequences. It is recommended that you talk about your surrogacy experience with your child immediately. Very young children are often the most open-minded and are able to process this information.
Preparing to Talk about Surrogacy
Intended parents sometimes need help to tell the story in an age-appropriate way. Start preparing to tell their story even before they are born. Gather information about the surrogacy process and your personal journey with it. Take pictures and document the process of the pregnancy. This way your child will have visuals and understand everyone that was involved in creating their life.
When your baby is born, begin telling them their story as an infant, even though they may not understand. The more practice you have telling it, the more comfortable you will be when your child is ready to really hear their story.