Gestational Surrogacy Books to Add to Your Library

For many parents-to-be, reading is an important part of nesting. This sentiment rings even louder for many Intended Parents considering Gestational Surrogacy as the answer to creating the family of their dreams. If you are looking to add some of the most helpful and informational books on Gestational Surrogacy to your personal library, begin by checking out a few of these recommended titles:

 

The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story About Surrogacy for Young Children

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This book is a wonderful option for Intended Parents with older children ages 2-8. The Kangaroo Pouch serves as an excellent conversation starter and explains the surrogacy journey from start to finish in ways children can comprehend. This book is also available in eBook format.

 

 

 

 

A Surrogacy Book for Young Children: Grown in Another Garden

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Another story great for the 2 – 8-year-old age group, Grown in Another Garden is a children’s story geared towards explaining surrogacy to children born from a Gestational Surrogate.

 

 

 

Surrogacy Was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers Tell Their Stories

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Surrogacy Was the Way chronicles the journey of twenty Intended Mothers, all pursuing surrogacy from different backgrounds and different reasons but with the same common goal. This book provides candid insight for Intended Parents considering beginning their own Surrogacy journey.

 

 

 

 

 

Successful Surrogacy: An Intended Parents’ Guide to a Rewarding Relationship with Their Surrogate Mother

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Although a quick read, Successful Surrogacy is chock-full of invaluable information for loved ones and friends as well as vital conversation starters for your partner as well as your Surrogate throughout each stage of your Surrogacy journey. This book is also available for e-readers.

 

 

Planning Parenthood: Strategies for Success in Fertility Assistance, Adoption, and Surrogacy

 

 

A great mix of scientific information and stories from real-life Intended Parents, Planning Parenthood provides in-depth discussions about the various options available for those wishing to have a family of their own when traditional pregnancy is not a possibility.

 

 

 

Labor of Love: Gestational Surrogacy and the Work of Making Babies (Families in Focus)

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Labor of Love takes a well-rounded approach to discussing Gestational Surrogacy covering all aspects from new advancements and higher general acceptance of reproductive technologies to interviewing family members of both Surrogates and Intended families alike. This book is available in both traditional and electronic formats.

 

 

 

Bringing in Finn: An Extraordinary Surrogacy Story

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This memoir chronicles one woman’s journey to motherhood with her own biological mother ultimately becoming her Surrogate. Available in electronic, hardcover and paperback formats, Bringing in Finn is a fantastic read for anyone who has overcome hurdles in their own journey or simply desires a greater understanding of Surrogacy.

 

 

From Heartache to Healed: Our Journey Through Infertility and Surrogacy

 

 

A personal account of one couple’s struggle with infertility and journey through Surrogacy, From Heartache to Healed is newly published memoir available in electronic format.

 

 

 

 

Pathways to Parenthood: The Ultimate Guide to Surrogacy

 

Pathways to Parenthood is a handy how-to guide for all aspects and versions of Surrogacy. From the initial decision to embark upon your surrogacy journey through your baby’s delivery, Pathways breaks everything into easy to understand terms so you will know whatever decision you make in your journey will be the right one for you.

 

 

 

IVF A Detailed Guide: Everything I Wish I Had Known Before Starting My Fertility Treatments

 

 

This book is a comprehensive breakdown of everything you should be aware of and consider before beginning IVF treatments as well as what you can expect during the process. IVF A Detailed Guide is available in both traditional and electronic formats.

 

 

 

 

IVF: A Patient’s Guide. IVF: A Patient’s Guide is the perfect book for anyone undergoing or considering fertility treatment

 

Including charts, case studies, photos and graphs, this little book is a great way to help you reduce stress and boost your likelihood of success.
While educating yourself through your own reading and research is a great way to become more knowledgeable and comfortable on the topic of Surrogacy, the best way to make sure you get your questions answered is to partner with a trusted, experienced, and caring surrogacy agency or clinic. BioTexCom prides itself on the relationships it builds with its clients, Surrogates and Intended Parents alike. To learn more about how they can help you navigate your Surrogacy journey, contact BioTexCom today!

 

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Motherhood after egg donation

Egg donation is often not the patient’s first choice on their journey towards a child. Behind nearly every decision to do egg donation treatment is a history of several failed IVF attempts. However, we are sure that you have done enough to become a mother to a genetic child and we are sure that you have many reasons to be proud of yourself when it comes to everything you have done so far! Now it’s time to increase your chances and finally become a mother!

When you have decided to go through egg donation treatment we know that there are a lot of ethical and emotional thoughts and feelings that needs to be sorted out. We know that you want to go through this treatment and feel normal, feel inner peace, and feel that this treatment will finally give you the child that you have wanted for such a long time. The child project involves emotions, money, focus and time and we know you feel that you deserve a result. You deserve to achieve your goal, your wanted child! You will feel It is not logical for you to go through such a demanding project without a result.

Are you aware that your maternal instinct is actually affecting your thoughts and feelings before your pregnancy? You are wondering if you can bond to your unborn «donor egg baby», if you will feel it’s yours, if you are going to tell, or not to tell the child about the conception through egg donation and you are wondering about how the child will react and grow up knowing this?

You see? You already think as a mother, you are concerned on your child’s behalf because you want to do your best for your child. You have already started your motherhood! Maybe you want to plan how you will react, think and feel after given birth to your child? Why not trust your instinct? That your love and your maternal ability will develop in relation to your child?

Early bonding to the child

During pregnancy you already start the bonding process with the child. When you feel the child inside of you miracles happen. The child responds to your touch, by displaying more movements as a way of communication. The bond extends beyond language.

If someone asks you to describe your unborn child in the latest months of your pregnancy, we are sure you are able to.

You are the one that knows this child, carrying it and protect this child into this world.

how do women that have egg donor babies feel about the experience

Tell or not to tell your child about egg donation?

To tell, or not to tell your child about its conception through egg donation depend on your values, your ethical point of view, your culture and society and what gives you and your partner inner peace. You don’t need to hurry with these decisions. Studies shows, that if you decide to tell, the best age to tell is when the child is between 5 and 7 years old. So you actually have at least 6 years to prepare yourself!

Sometimes miracles come in pairs 

1. There’s a good chance that, if you have twins, they will spend some time in the hospital after they are born. Twins, even lower-risk twins, are often born prematurely. However, hospitals are amazing these days. While your twins are in the Intensive Care Unit, it will feel like the longest weeks of your life, but chances are, they will be totally fine at the end of it. As long as the days felt while they were in the hospital, however, they will feel twice as long when they come home. In your mind, you will be begging for a nurse to come and feed your children just once more so you can get an extra hour of sleep.

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2. If you have identical twins, get used to them drawing lots of attention when you go out in public. The attention is not so much directed at them, but in your general vicinity, like whispers on the sidelines but everywhere you go. In fact, it’s kind of fun if one parent takes both twins, and the other parent walks 20 feet behind them to observe all of the faces of people reacting “Did you see those twins? OMG. TWINS!”

4. No matter what kind of twins you have, the first thing everyone you encounter will say is “Are those twins?” People will cross the street to say this to you. They will come out from behind store displays, roll car windows down, leave their vehicles at the gas pump. No matter how many advanced degrees they posses, how many children they have of their own, or how intuitive and erudite they may be normally, they will still ask, “Are those twins? Just say “Yes,” and try not to sound like you’re Cher from Clueless. “Um….yeah!

5. If you’re a Mom of twins, the second question total strangers will ask is, “Are they natural?” Evidently this does not refer to whether they are cyborg or human, but how they were conceived. And yes, it’s a very personal question. Which maybe involves everyone in the conversation imagining you having sex. And also, if you have struggled with infertility, this question may bring up really painful experiences that you would prefer not to recall with someone you have never met and will never see again. But don’t worry, even if you say they were conceived “naturally,” many strangers will assume you’re lying.

6. “I knew a twin!” Everyone has a twin story. None of them are interesting. Your cousins are twins?! Wow! Okay! Your mailman’s brother had twins and one died. Jeez! Wow! Okay! Your grade-school had seven sets of twins and your mom always said there was something in the water! My goodness. Listen: The only people who have interesting twin stories are parents of twins, and they know you’re far too exhausted to hear and/or remember any of them. Older twin parents will smile shyly at you and say “I have twins, too. It gets better. You’re doing great.” They are like unicorns. Take photos with these people and keep them in your wallet.

7. Some people are really interested in exploring the paranormal powers of twin children. If you are someone who believes in extra-sensory perception, mystical powers, the occult, and paranormal activity, then sure, I get that you might also believe in the possibility of secret twin capabilities. But if you don’t believe in these things in any other context, what the hell are you on about? If, when the time comes, our twins independently want to share with the world the unusual qualities of their relationship or abilities, that’s cool. Until then, nobody needs to anticipate a “secret language” any more or less than a “terrible pitch” or “great hand-eye coordination.” We had twins, not M. Night Shyamalan characters.

5. Twins by Evgeniya Semenova

8.Twins’ behavior is often interpreted as being in concert or in harmony, despite significant evidence to the contrary. For instance, if your twins are both perched atop a slide, their little fists wailing away at each other while they contort their bodies and scream, some may think, “Oh, that’s adorable! They’re twins! They are frustrated because they want to slide down together, at the same time.” When in reality, they are fighting to get away from one another, because each wants to go down the slide first. Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. Let them be super close, super distant, and anything in between; as with any siblings, their relationship should be allowed to change according to their moods and situations.

9. Along that same vein, it’s a good idea to buy two of everything, because at some point, if one twin has a toy, the other twin will also want that same toy, even if there are 99 better toys in the same vicinity. Note that even the two-of-everything approach can backfire, however, if one twin is grabby and insists on having bothidentical toys at the same time. Give a new, wrapped roll of toilet paper to the twin whose toys have been stolen. Your living room will look like a bomb went off, but who can put a price on 10 glee-filled minutes?

10. You may think that changing diapers for two babies requires the same amount of effort as changing the diaper of one baby, times two. This is inaccurate. It’s actually more than twice the effort, because while you are changing one baby’s diaper, you will simultaneously have to keep the other baby occupied so that she will not steal the clean diaper you are about to put on or the poopy diaper you have just removed, or crawl over the head of the baby you are attempting to change, or run screaming through the house pulling wipes out of the wipes box and throwing them on the floor while using your phone to update your facebook status to “e29,28889xmn”. (All of these things will happen. Regularly.)

11. Despite the fact that your twins were born at the same time, and may even look similar, they will not necessarily develop at the same rate. Try to resist comparison. Do not assume that the twin who has not yet learned how to say “ball” is the dumb one, or that the twin who falls down the least amount of times is the “sporty” one. And just tell your Uncle you want a gift receipt for the “I’m with stupid” onesie.

12. You will have no money. Ever again.

13. It’s not a competition: Whether you’re raising one or four, raising children is hard. Don’t be one of those douchey twin parents who discounts the tireless efforts of other parents just because they’re raising singletons. All good parents work hard to raise good children (but yes, twin parents, your job is much harder).

14. Invest in a wholesale club membership. Not only will you save money by buying in bulk, but wholesale clubs have grocery carts designed for two small children, damn near a necessity if you need to buy groceries and the other parent is out of town or otherwise unavailable. It’s either that, or front-pack one child, stick the other in the grocery cart, and walk around the grocery store (note to twin Dads: this expert/martyr Dad move will draw the ladies like ducks to bread).

15. If you already have a young child, and now you are having twins, you have to buy a minivan. This seems like a joke. I wish so fervently that it were a joke. But you literally have to. Go. Right now. The guy who shows them to you is going to talk up the cup holders, as though you care at all about cup holders. Just tell him to quit it with the snow job and find you the cheapest, safest minivan on the lot. Then come home and cry. You just bought a minivan!

16. You will be so tired, you literally won’t remember most of the first three to six months. If given the chance, we would have slept anywhere: on the floor, in a dining room chair, standing up, leaning over. I would have crawled into that space for big items under the shopping cart if I thought I would have been left in peace to sleep. The level of exhaustion is so intense it is like looking into the sun. If you have the money, hire someone to come to your house and when they get there, leave and go to sleep. If you don’t have the money, try to take turns so that you can take breaks. If you have an older child who will need your attention when you aren’t with the babies, invest in a serious coffee maker.

17. Feeding multiples is really difficult. If you are nursing, pumping, or formula feeding. Some mothers can nurse twins at the same time, and that’s amazing. It also means that you’ll need to be at home for the first year. Many mothers do not have that option, but insist on breast milk, which means that the mother will basically have a breast pump attached to her for the first year. My wife, who is an attorney, is incredible. She pumped every three hours for 12 months, even if that meant she had to do so in her car in a parking lot outside of a courtroom.

There are an incredible amount of of bottles and pump parts, however, to maintain. Overnight, every three hours (or two hours, during the first few weeks), my wife would pump, while I would wake the twins to feed them. By the time that the feeding process was over, and the bottles made, and the pump parts cleaned, it was time to wake up again. If you’re lucky, you get to sleep in four hour-long spurts, interrupted throughout the night.

Also, plan to have a good dishwasher, because it will be running perpetually for the first year. This is an actual picture of our countertop during that period.

18. You really don’t have any money. Check your bank account; if there’s a balance, that means you forgot to buy the car seats.

19. If one of your twins gets sick, infect the other one as soon as possible.The other baby is going to get sick, anyway. It is inevitable. It cannot be prevented, so try to manage it. Take the sick baby’s toothbrush, and brush your well baby’s entire face with it. The only thing worse to working parents than two sick babies at the same time is one sick baby who gets better right as the other baby gets sick, which means instead of taking off four days to care for your sick children, you have to take off 7 days.

20. Some may assume that because they share the same womb and/or look alike, that they are the same unit. They often will not be referred to as individuals, but as “the twins.” Recent studies suggest this isn’t great for individuation (you don’t say!?!) so try to do things that help people (including yourself) remember the distinct attributes of each child. This is particularly important because you will rarely know where they are, and sometimes won’t know who is who.

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21. Unfortunately, though some may treat your twins as a single unit, that treatment will not extend to daycare, where you will still have to pay for two.

22. If you have identical twins, people will ask you, “How do you tell them apart?” People just assume that, because you are the parents, you will have this magical ability to make the distinction between two completely identical children who have not yet formed personalities. It’s much harder than you think. We kept the hospital bracelets on for a week or two, until one of our twins developed a very small, very faint birthmark, which is all we had to go on. Even still, you will call your twins by the wrong name at least three times a day. It does not make you a bad parent. In fact, during the first year, you will not only call your children by the wrong name, you’ll call your spouse by the wrong name, and probably your boss, as well. There’s a very good chance you will forget your own name from time to time.

23. There’s another reason you may call your spouse by the wrong name, too. Once you’ve seen your spouse at 4 a.m. without pants holding one baby in her arms, while rhythmically patting the other whimpering baby in the crib in a room that smells of diapers, it’s hard to recall the person with whom you walked down the aisle.

24. Cloth diapers? Hahahahahahahahaha!

25. Twins are an experience unlike any other, and you are lucky to have the chance to try your hand at this insanely complicated parenting challenge. Embrace the craziness, and be good to yourselves. It really does get better. Someday. I’m sure of it.

Being an Intended Parent

The journey to create a family has taken many intended parents outside their own country in search of surrogacy arrangements. We understand how difficult it can be to entrust the most important event in your life to someone you don’t even know. We understand that some couples have already been through a difficult journey of IVF treatments and disappointments. However, surrogacy is a big commitment, not only for the surrogate mother but also for the intended parents. Complete and reliable information is absolutely necessary to help intended parents avoid coercion and heartbreak while pursuing their goal of forming a family.

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How can intended parents be sure their egg donor and gestational carrier are being cooperative during the medication stage when they are preparing for the egg retrieval and embryo transfer? There has been so much invested by this time, financially and emotionally, the fear of a cycle being disrupted because of an error is looming over intended parents. When dealing with human beings, it is impossible to guarantee everyone will do what they are told, or that no mistakes may happen. We must remember that we are dealing with women who understand the commitment they’ve entered into, and understand the struggles of their intended parents. They have been educated and screened by their agency, the psychologist, and the fertility center staff. There are legal contracts involved for this process as well. The egg donors and gestational carriers are monitored very closely by the team professionals involved with this journey and they have all the support they need.

There is a flood of emotions in the beginning and there is a flood of emotions at the end. Taking away as much doubt and concern is very important, and choosing the right professionals to help with this journey will allow intended parents to feel comfortable with their decision and prepare for parenthood.

5 Reasons to Consider Surrogacy

1. The fetus is legally yours from the start.

This is huge, and no other means of having a child can promise you this.
We’ve all heard the horror stories about birth mothers who change their mind in the delivery room and decide to keep their baby. Then, the would-be adoptive parents are forced to go home empty-handed and cry in a beautifully decorated nursery which might never get used.
Well, that doesn’t happen with surrogacy — because it’s your baby, not hers.
We are talking about gestational surrogacy. In that arrangement, the surrogate is not using her own eggs. There’s a separate egg donor. So the surrogate has no biological connection to the child and thus feels less of a bond to him or her (or in our case, them).
She also signs a mountain of paperwork stating that she doesn’t want — and can’t have — your child. We all just need to enjoy the moment for what it was, because legally, everything was already settled.

2. You can go to all the appointments.

Being pregnant is rough, and it’s full of moments of ups and downs, thrills and panic, a million little bumps and big bumps along the way. And we need to live through it all.
We have an opportunity to watch the fetuses grow week by week and to be at a surrogate’s side –for every important moment, from before conception all the way through delivery. When your kids catch their first glimpses of the world, you can be there.

3. Your relationship with the surrogate can be as open as you want it to be.

Most surrogates, from what I’ve heard, would like to be on your Christmas card list. They enjoy getting an annual reminder of the family they helped create, and they love seeing how the little ones have grown.
Other than that, it’s all up to you — and to a lesser extent, her — to decide.
Some people don’t want an “aunt”, and they’d rather keep things as casual as possible afterwards. There are plenty of surrogates who are looking for that arrangement, too.
One thing’s for sure. The surrogate won’t have any visitation rights with the kids. It’s entirely the parents’ prerogative how much contact you maintain with the surrogate after the birth.

4. The odds are good.

The surrogate is tested extensively before she’s matched with an intended parent couple. In most cases, she’s already carried at least one baby of her own to term, if not several. So her fertility is never in doubt.
The egg donor is also tested beforehand. She’s young and healthy, and she may even have donated eggs for other couples in the past. If your first in vitro fails, you can replace the surrogate and/or the egg donor for your next try.

5. You’re not as altruistic as you think you are.

Adoption is a beautiful way to make a family but occasionally the adoption advocates will imply that they’re better than us, that we’re selfish or greedy or that we’re letting parentless children suffer while we go off and make our designer fetuses. Well, before those people get to you, let us tell you that they’re misguided at best.
Yes, there are plenty of babies ready to be placed with loving families, but there are also plenty of loving families looking to adopt.
The ones who are getting left out of all of this happiness are special needs kids. They’re the ones stuck in the foster system, the ones most desperate for families to take them in. No one ever tells straight couples that they should adopt a special needs kid rather than selfishly reproduce from their own genes, and the argument could just as easily apply to them.
Infertility isn’t a curse or a sign from God that you need to dedicate your life to helping sick children. Not everyone is made for that, and that’s OK.

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If you feel a calling to open your home to a special needs child, then I commend you, you are a saint, and I’ll admit it: you’re better than me. But if you’re foregoing surrogacy so you can put yourself on a waiting list for a healthy Caucasian newborn, then I don’t think what we’re doing is all that different.
Ultimately, though, I don’t think the biological argument should sway you one way or the other, because the kid you have is your kid, regardless of how they came into your family. You’re going to spend a lot more time diapering them, playing with them, teaching them, learning from them and loving them than you are pondering their genetics.

Ultimately, though, I don’t think the biological argument should sway you one way or the other, because the kid you have is your kid, regardless of how they came into your family. You’re going to spend a lot more time diapering them, playing with them, teaching them, learning from them and loving them than you are pondering their genetics.
Once you’re a parent, it won’t matter where your baby came from, but getting there isn’t easy, and hopefully this helped someone along the way.

Surrogate – IP Relationships

Many intended parents may be skeptical of using surrogacy to grow their family. Many of these couples fear that the woman carrying their child for this nine-month period may change her mind and decide she no longer wants to give the baby up, and will leave and raise the child as their own. Fortunately, according to the Law of Ukraine it’s impossible here. A surrogate autom…atically gives up all the rights and obligations to any future created child from intended parents’s genetic material. This means that once a child is born from surrogacy, the surrogate releases all rights and obligations as their parent and must hand over the child to the intended parents once the birth occurs.

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In many instances, intended parents choose to have a relationship with their surrogate following the pregnancy, in which they have an open line of communication. From phone calls to letters, pictures to occasional visits, depending on the status of your relationship with your surrogate this may be.

While most intended parents are invested in being a part of a surrogate’s life, others may choose to receive information on a need-to-know basis. Parents who decide to take this route are usually preparing for life after birth and a separation from the surrogate. In no way does this choice reflect their attitude towards the surrogate or her valuable service.